I thought I'd take the time to address the elephant in the room...as such. At the end of June I launched my first pattern after, what I consider, a very successful first global tester process. Approximately 25 women from all corners of the globe. They were all extremely talented and generous with their knowledge and time. Then I kicked off a two week long blog tour! It was all going swimmingly and I was over the moon, the virtual world was bubbling along very nicely.
Cue real world interference...
Whilst I had been running my testing process we changed Internet Service Providers (ISP) and had no internet connection at home, so I was running the entire test process from my iPhone hotspot, which kept constantly dropping out and wouldn't wifi to my printer for no apparent reason! That was a wee challenge, however I overcame it and soldiered on...albeit ever soo slowly. The day I launched my pattern my son got sick and needed my attention, I didn't have time for him to be sick, which made me feel very guilty. My husband's business had arrived at the end of it's first financial year, 30 June, and as the responsible Director of the company for all things financial there was work for me to do. It was my boys last school week before two weeks of winter holidays and the same week holidays started we were kicking off THREE months of renovations to our house!! And right before all this, I launched my pattern and committed to a two week blog tour... Are you getting the picture yet???
Pre-children I would have kicked this out of the ball park, and I did kick all the goals to pattern launch - but what was the real cost???
I was functioning on about 4hours sleep a night and my sleep bank was hugely in debt; my kids were vying for my attention in subtle and not so subtle ways; even my husband was turning as blind an eye as possible (as best his analytical engineering mind could) to the utter chaos reigning at home. That was only going to last till he stepped on a misplaced piece of Leggo (if you have kids you know what I mean, for me it's the last straw...it hurts...a lot!!).
Some people might find this type of life fine and functional, but our household does not cope without strict organisation, planning and routine. Something had to give...the virtual world had to take a back seat whilst I dealt with my real world, the one that was glaring me in the face everyday, that was slowly piling up on top of me and starting to show some gaping fissures!
So I took the two weeks of the boys school holidays off the virtual world all together. I sorted out the end of year financial guff for hubby; I decided on a heap of outstanding decisions for the rennovations; I caught up on all the household chores; and most importantly - I spent time with my kids, got some fresh air and caught up my sleep bank!
Interestingly enough, once I had my break and I started logging on again, just to read my blog roll on Bloglovin, I started reading more stories about other women being superwomen, or taking on too much at once or learning to that it's important to be kinder to and put ourselves first. And as guilty as I felt about letting the ladies who'd committed to helping me launch the Run Jump Hop Skip Pattern Tour down, I knew I had to be kind to myself and accept, that cancelling it was the right thing to do for me and my family - the most important people in my whole world. Why is it so hard for us as women to be able to say 'No' or 'Stop' or 'Help'? Why do we let what others might think of us stop us from making the right decisions? The ones that are right for us, our families. As it turns out they understood, of course they did... they have families and other commitments too. We are all human, it's ok to be so!
It's just over one month since I abruptly cancelled the Pattern Tour and in that time sooo much has happened in my life, many 'aha' moments, ups and downs - the ever weaving path of life has continued on. My biggest lessons - ask for help, tell those that love you what is going on in your head; prioritise what is important and don't waiver - priorities can be many things to many people, and for their own reasons; set limits, know your own limitations before opening your mouth or raising your hand - it's ok to say 'Not yet'.
I am enjoying this journey, this new enlightenment. I would never do anything to compromise my family - their health, well being and happiness - without them I am nothing. Success for me has changed, it's not just about my goals anymore. Lesson learnt.
So, now I am learning that I can still do it all - just slower. I always want to run before I can walk. And I do want it all! My husband has always called me the Queen of Want - cheeky man! But in a way he is right - not really so much for material things but if I have an idea in my head that I want to do or achieve, nothing will stop me. I know, I hear some of you saying 'What the hell is wrong with that?' Nothing, but all things in moderation. If I want to be considered and cared for by others and have compromises made for me then I need to reciprocate in kind, know when it is my time, when it is others. It's a bit like a communications analogy - 'It's not always your role to be talking or thinking about what to say next because if you aren't playing the role of listener too, you miss out on making the connection', and really isn't the connection or relationships what life is all about? Aha moment...
Stitch it Now will definitely continue on, at my pace, a pace that suits all my/our commitments not just the Stitch it Now timeline. I do hope you stick around for my continued slow sewing journey, I feel like it's going to be perfectly perfect. What do you know? I've grown - it feels good.
We are heading off on a family holiday this Sunday coming, it's mid school term - all my boys don't cope with heaps of people on holidays - so they will be taking private ski lessons and skiing at a time of year when the slopes will be fairly empty and they'll be as happy as pigs in mud. I didn't get to be this 'age' to be told I have to continue to try skiing (I have tried and the tales will make you pee your pants with laughter) so I will be reading, knitting, embroidering and catching up on writing some blog posts to go with my fabulous creations from Kids Clothes Week. So keep any eye out for them and let's get back to our normal transmission here all about sewing adventures.
I have some fun stuff coming up including the release of my second pattern, the TriRaglan in September. I'll be running a test late August, however I'm not committing to a tour this time round (GRIN!). You'll see some teaser photos of the TriRaglan in my upcoming posts. I sewed a couple for Kids Clothes Week.
Till next time - happy days whether you are enjoying the end of Summer or Winter in your little piece of paradise.